Number 57 - Christmas Slaughter by Mark Grant

I read this book so you don't have to.

I really must learn. I thought this would be a good trashtastic quick read for Christmas.

Trash is a definite.  It's really not as good as that cover seems to suggest it might be. And I know that's a piss poor cover.

I think this book is aiming at some type of satire and isn't meant to be serious.  I really hope it's not meant to be serious - the rebel organisation is called Free American Revoltianry troops for crying out loud.  However, there is the very slight problem that it's just not bloody funny either.

Apparently Mark Grant was a pseudonym shared out between authors by Avon books in the late 80s/early 90s.  The series this book belongs to was started off by David Bischoff - actually a name I've heard of, and someone whose name I've seen on a few well regarded novelisations of popular movies. Mid-series on the Mutant Amok books (this is apparently number 5 in that series) he handed the reins over to Bruce King - who is clearly guilty of this piece of crap writing.

To read this book is an act of unalloyed, conscious  masochism.  In fact, even the old Baron De Masoch would probably have balked at being asked to complete this book. It starts badly, and disintegrates as it moves on.  Every weapon the characters use is described in intimate detail, as is the ammunition, and range and damage it can inflict. True weapon porn.  When it moves into actual sex porn in later chapters it's unutterably bad and possibly the least erotic fiction I've read ever in my life.

 There truly is no level on which this book actually works. As a thriller, it's not thrilling. As a comedy, it's not funny. As sci-fi it fails. As horror it's just not the least scary. As gore, it's not even that gory and as literature it scores in the negatives.

I only know of one writer worse than this. At least Mr Bruce King has a basic grasp of grammar and a rudimentary knowledge of basic plotting. the best thing that can be said about this book is that it has a beginning a middle and an end.  Not a good beginning, middle and end, but they are there. And I was so glad to reach the end of this.

a clear 0/10 for this.  I'm guessing this will be the worst book this year.