Number 60 - The Heidelberg Cylinder - Jonathan Carro;ll

And number 60 for the year was this excellent novella from Jonathan Carroll.

This is a limited edition, signed by Carroll himself and Dave McKean - the artist responsible for that rather excellent cover. When I bought this, it was the second most expensive book I'd ever bought - and I'm glad to say that a google search shows it's held its value if not put some on.

The story is typical Jonathan Carroll.  A couple are making a drink for the two delivery men who've just dropped off a new fridge when there's a knock at the door.  At the door is what appears to be a pair of god-bothering evangelists.  But these are far from normal.  They claim to have the big answers to everything and say they can prove it, They offer $1000 to each of the four if they're not satisfied with the explanations.

That's when things get weird.  The story moves into the realms of the fantastic very rapidly from then on, magical powers, denizens of  Hell being relocated to small town USA, a guest appearance from Satan himself... This is a great fun little novella.  It's surreal and funny and packed with Carroll's always excellent prose and wit - with an underlying darkness and a complete up in the air ending.

Although I do think recent works by Carroll have kind of fizzled out rather than ending, this one has an almost perfect close.

A jolly good book to end the year on.

Number 59 - Bluebeard - Angela Carter

A cheat read by any other name.

I'm determined to do 60 books this year, and with slightly over a day left, this called for a very short book indeed.

This is a selection of fairy tales retold by Angela Carter. Her collection The Bloody Chamber is one of my favourite collections. Something about the prose in that and the Saints and Sinners collection (Saints and Sinners is also known as Black Venus with minor changes to a couple of the stories) almost makes me feel drunk if I read too much of it.

The stories in this are much more plainly written. they're almost completely straightfoward retellings of popular folk tales.

After her retelling of Bluebeard as the title story in The Bloody Chamber, this very very normal version seems almost a disappointment, although the little comic morals she inserts at the end of the story are witty and gave me a wry smile.

Similarly, the red Riding Hood version here pales compared to it's counterpoint - The Company of Wolves - in The Bloody Chamber collection.  It's nice that the ending isn't the usual happy ending we expect in this story though.

Puss in Boots - another story also told far differently in TBC - is retold here completely straight, although the amorality of the cat in tricking or threatening everyone he meets into doing his will is amusingly highlighted.

The sleeping beauty in the wood - the first half of this is the entirely traditional version we all know, but this then gives us the Prince's half ogre mother who decides she wants to eat Beauty and her two children while the handsome prince (now king) is away in battle.  Not the happy ever after we're used to.

Cinderella is a completely traditional telling with no surprises at all.  Cinders is sickly sweet and nice in this version. It's only the second moral appended to this that gives any kind of subversion.

Ricky with The Tuft - I confess to not knowing this particular fairy tale.  it's an interesting one, highlighting the diference between outer and inner beauty.  I felt very sorry for the plain but clever sister once the beautiful sister became clever.

The Foolish Wishes - the woodcutter who is granted three wishes and loses them all without gaining anything except a black pudding... this has always been a favourite story of mine and this is a funny enough retelling.

I wish this collection had more of Carter's trademark intensity in the prose but I ain't got any ancient gods popping by to grant me that one.

A fun diversion, and good choice for a cheat read.

Only one book left now to get 60 for the year.

Number 58 - 1933 Was a bad Year - John Fante

The last book I read was easily the worst thing I've read this year.  This book goes possibly to the opposite extreme.

A late contender for my book of the year.

I only picked this up in Waterstones last week because A - it was thin, B - the title was intriguing and C - the Bukowski quote on the cover.  I'd never heard of Fante before and that is entirely my loss. This guy could really write. Anyone that Bukowski quotes as inspiration, you expect a high standard. And I certainly wasn't disppointed.

Fante wrote with a clear and concise style, it's almost poetic in places.  It's funny in a very droll way, beautifully descriptive without ever leaving you feeling like there are wasted words on the page. I could see young Dom and his family.  I could almost smell the linament he obsessively uses on "the Arm". The sense of place in the tenement block where he shares a cramped three bedroom apartment with his parents, his Gran and his three younger siblings was amazing.

Dominic Molise is a 17 year old boy, son of an Italian immigrant bricklayer, gifted with the greatest southpaw pitching arm in the Midwest. He tells us it is at any rate.  So does his best friend Kenny, one of the rich kids from across town who he plays baseball with regularly. They have a plan to skip this dead end town and try out for the major leagues.

This is as perfect as writing gets. Humorous yet quietly devastating.  Every character is fleshed out and believable, the dialogue sparkles and the ending left me wanting more.  Sadly, as this very short novel was published posthumously, it strikes me that there probably isn't a follow up.

This book manages to encompass an examination of friendship, awkward coming of age, first crushes, familial love and sacrifice, comedy and tragedy in a mere 100 pages, which flowed past as is it was only 20 the prose is so lucid.

I was wiping a few tears away in the closing pages of this book.  One of the most moving pieces of literature I've read in many years.

Easy 9/10 - should have been longer.

Number 57 - Christmas Slaughter by Mark Grant

I read this book so you don't have to.

I really must learn. I thought this would be a good trashtastic quick read for Christmas.

Trash is a definite.  It's really not as good as that cover seems to suggest it might be. And I know that's a piss poor cover.

I think this book is aiming at some type of satire and isn't meant to be serious.  I really hope it's not meant to be serious - the rebel organisation is called Free American Revoltianry troops for crying out loud.  However, there is the very slight problem that it's just not bloody funny either.

Apparently Mark Grant was a pseudonym shared out between authors by Avon books in the late 80s/early 90s.  The series this book belongs to was started off by David Bischoff - actually a name I've heard of, and someone whose name I've seen on a few well regarded novelisations of popular movies. Mid-series on the Mutant Amok books (this is apparently number 5 in that series) he handed the reins over to Bruce King - who is clearly guilty of this piece of crap writing.

To read this book is an act of unalloyed, conscious  masochism.  In fact, even the old Baron De Masoch would probably have balked at being asked to complete this book. It starts badly, and disintegrates as it moves on.  Every weapon the characters use is described in intimate detail, as is the ammunition, and range and damage it can inflict. True weapon porn.  When it moves into actual sex porn in later chapters it's unutterably bad and possibly the least erotic fiction I've read ever in my life.

 There truly is no level on which this book actually works. As a thriller, it's not thrilling. As a comedy, it's not funny. As sci-fi it fails. As horror it's just not the least scary. As gore, it's not even that gory and as literature it scores in the negatives.

I only know of one writer worse than this. At least Mr Bruce King has a basic grasp of grammar and a rudimentary knowledge of basic plotting. the best thing that can be said about this book is that it has a beginning a middle and an end.  Not a good beginning, middle and end, but they are there. And I was so glad to reach the end of this.

a clear 0/10 for this.  I'm guessing this will be the worst book this year.

Number 56 - The 39 Steps - John Buchan

Only a few days left till the end of the year, and I figure I can hit 60 if I stick to thin books like this one.

This is of course the basis for teh Afred Hitchcock film of the same name.  Published in 1915, it's credited as inventing the entire genre of the spy novel.Therefore it's an important, if rather slim, volume.

I'd love to say that I think it's better than the film and everyone should rush out and read it but I can't. It's not a bad book by any stretch of the imagination but does it deserve the classic status?

It's well paced, the story moves at a fast clip but the action rarely takes off.  The big action set pieces we associate with this story seem to be unique to the filmed versions, especially the Big Ben finale.  In fact the eponymous steps barely make an appearance in the book.  They're mentioned briefly about halfway through, but don't reappear as a plot point until very late on.

There isn't really much in the way of action, there's lots of running and hiding, and a few disguises but precious little in the way of actually trying to solve his problems - at least until the closing chapters, where the biggest problem, the dead man in his apartment and him as lead suspect, has solved itself in any case. He's a very reactive, rather than a proactive, protagonist (a retagoinist?) 

Some bits of the story have aged very badly, several mentions of the Jew conspiracy for example.  As a cardr carrying member of the Labour Party I''d be unable to recommend this book unreservedly purely for the antisemitism on display from the good guys.

Considering the book was published a year into WWI and set the same year, the story seems to be ignorant of the history of the period, and the world war hasn't yet started... I can only assume it was written a couple of years earlier and took time to get published.

It was still a solid enough read, as long as you could allow for when it was written.  It's certainly a product of its time.

6/10

Number 55 - Glorious Beasts by Gary McMahon

I was very priveleged to be asked to beta read the new novella by Gary McMahon.  Since it's not seen publication yet (although it certainly will early in the new year) there is currently no cover photo to post - so here is a picture of the glorious beast who wrote the novella himself.

Glorious beasts is a post apocalyptic weird western monster story.  A mishmash of genres like that can be a disaster in the wrong hands. But McMahon is a fine writer at the best of times and this is one of my favourites of his stories to date.

There are shades of Cormac McCarthy in the central relationship between the lead character Cable and his son Walker  as they take on a quest to search for a missing baby. The baby was stolen from its mother in the middle of the night, I don't want to even hint at the reasons for the abduction as I've promised to not leave any spoilers on this.

In a very small number of pages, McMahon gives us a mystical journey through a bizzarre and thoroughly real feeling world into a true nightmare. Despite the fanatastical elements (of which there are many) the world building McMahon has achieved is convincing throughout.  The flawed and damaged Cable is an unusual hero ands the future world seen through his eyes is a bleak place indeed with very few avenues for hope.The end of the quest is horror purified and refined and spat in our faces with full force. 

This story has lots to say about father/son relationships, and the reasons that people carry on despite everything. All this in a mere 56 pages (including title pages on the word document).

When this is published, I will ensure I edit this to include the location where you and I can buy it from.

Easily 8/10 for me.

Number 54 - Fevre Dream by George RR Martin

Some people may notice a link between this and the last two books I read.  Three books, effectively the same title - as different as bright pink chalk and a moldy gorgonzola.  This has been an extremely rewarding themed read.

Fifteen years before A Song of Ice and Fire was published, George RR Martin published this - a story of bloodsuckinmg fiends on the riverboats of the southern states of America.

It's been languishing in my collection for many years and I kept meaning to pick it up and read it but never quite did.  I loved his collection of short stories, Songs the Dead Men Sing, and couldn't quite get into The Armageddon Rag when I tried it.  After reading this, I will have to try again.

We are introduced to Captain Abner Marsh, a riverboat captain down on his luck.  Most of his boats have just been destroyed by poor weather and his one remaining ship isn't something he can easily turn a dollar on.  He needs a break.  That's when he meets the mysterious Joshua York, a stranger who offers to go into partnership with him and who will build him the finest steamboat the river has ever seen.

There are some caveats to the deal, including not asking any questions about York or his behaviour, nut Marsh goes along with it. Of course he lives to regret the decision.

This book builds the tension from the first page.  The cover kind of tells us what York's big secret is, but there's much more to it than that. I found myself consistrently wrong-footed by the story.  It never quite went down the alley I expected.  The vampires are different from the ones we're used to from the many many Dracula variants on the bloodsuckers myth.  I laughed out loud when York made the point that Vlad Tepes (aka the impaler) was certainly NOT a vampire.

The historical detail feels real and well researched without ever bogging the story down. The period is very well realised and the characters are all truly convincing.

I wish I'd read this book many years ago.  It's now right up at the top of my favourite vampire novels, along with SP Somtow's Vampire Junction, and TM Wright's The Last Vampire.  A truly original take on a hoary old cliched subject.

Number 53 - Fever Dream - Ray Bradbury and Robert Bloch

The observant people might spot a link between this book and number 52...

This is a short story collection featuring 6 Robert Bloch tales and 4 by Ray Bradbury. As a sign of how long this has been on my shelves, I bought it for 5p in a second-hand shop. At least it has 5p written on the first page of the book.

Just take a moment to appreciate that cover art.  They certainly don't make them like that any more.

It opens with The Shadow from the Steeple - a Bloch story. This is Bloch in full blown copying Lovecraft mode.  This story is actually a sequel of sorts to Lovecraft's The Haunter in tthe Dark - this is explicitly referenced in the text, complete with a run down of the plot for those who haven't read it.  I'm not 100% certain if this is a pastiche or if it's supposed to be serious. It does blow apart the plot hole at the end of the story it follows from. Our central character goes looking for the survivor of the HPL tale and things don't go amazingly well for him. It opens with a lovely introduction to a taxi driver, which lasts about a page and a half, but then he's never seen again and we're told he was the last person to see his passenger (a mr Fiske) alive, followed by a flashback to the original tale and Fisque's quest to find Dr Dexter and the eventual meeting.It's entertaining but too slavish to HPL and feels very dated indeed.

Next up - The Watchers - Ray Bradbury - A classic story featuring a man convinced that insects are spying on him and out to kill him because he thinks he knows their plan.  There is a fairly gruesome twist at the end of this one.  This one also wears a HPL influence proudly on its sleeve and also feels dated, though far less so than the preceding story. I don't know how much of an influence this was of Stephen King's Creepshow segment regarding a very similar phobic lead character.

Back to Bloch with The Grinning Ghoul - I might have enjoyed this story more 30 years ago.  Another one that feels horribly dated.  It hasn't aged well at all, a very predictable story about a psychiatrist whose latest patient's tale of subterrenean beasties turns out to be all too real.  there are some nicely creepy sections but the structure of the story is not great and half the story could have been cut.  The shock ending is barely worthy of the name.

Sticking with Bloch - Mannikins of Horror - the best of the Bloch stories so far.  I think this was the basis for one of the segments in the Amicus portmanteau film Asylum (also written by Bloch so fairly likely) although the Amicus version doesn't have entrly the same plot as this one.  An inmate in an asylum has been making incredibly realistic clay models, so realistic they start moving. This is good, gruesome and fairly original. Some of the imagery is still stuck in my head 4 days after reading it, always a good sign.

The title story, Fever Dream by Bradbury.  This has long been one of my favourite Ray Bradbury stories. As many times as I've read it, the sense of creeping nightmare never fails.  This is a possession tale like no other.  A sick boy lying in bed feels bits of him suddenly stop belonging to himself. This one sends shivers down my spine every time.  As long as it's still my spine, I suppose I should be happy. The ending is well nigh perfect.

The Druidic Doom - Bloch again on another slavish HPL impersonation.  This starts by telling us our central character - the unlikelily named Sir Charles Hovoco, new owner of the Nedwick estates -  is going to die and then spends many many pages giving us the back story for the new landowner's land, and in particular about the old altar he finds on one of his walks before finishing him off.  In 20 pages, Sir Charles, our alleged lead character appears on maybe 5, mostly in the early part of the story, just to ask about a part of his land. Again, not a great story,

The Dead Man - Ray Bradbury - I'm sure I must have read this one before (I have literally every Ray Bradbury collection available except for Dark carnival), but I couldn't remember it at all.  This is a quirky little gem of a story.  I'm still not entirely convinced that farmers in small town America go to see a manicurist at their local barber shop, but it may have been a tradition at some point, I don't know.  That minor point apart, this story of Odd Martin who believes he's dead and takes to lying in the street for hours on end is beautifully done.  We get very little from his point of view, the vast majority of this story is through the eyes of the townspeople watching him and his odd behaviour and his unlikely finding of love. In just 21 pages Bradbury manages to paint the town and several of it's people in loving detail, and provides a hell of a good ending too, creepy and moving all at the same time.

A Question of Etiquette - Bloch - the new best Bloch story in the collection.  This one has barely dated.  A census taker knocks on the door of the latest house on his rounds and meets a captivating stranger who - erm - takes him captive through witchcraftery means and takes him to a meeting with the devil.  This is so well done, it restored my faith in Bloch as a writer.  Told in crisp prose, free of the HPL type embelishmets, this story twists and turns its way through to the ending it deserves.

The Handler - Bradbury - One of Bradury's more gruesome horror stories.  A mortician likes to take his revenge on the inhabitants of his town after their deaths.  Lucky for him there are very few open casket burials in his hown.Unluckily for him, revenge can come from any source in a Bradbury story.  I seem to recall reading somewhere that Bradbury disowned some of his early work for being too unpleasant, and this was one of those.  However it's another old favourite of mine with delightful poetic justice dished out to pretty much anyone alive or dead in the story.

The Man who Cried Wolf! - Bloch - A man decides to convince his wife she's mad with the assistance of a local lady werewolf.  A fine story to end on, even though there is an irritating plot hole in the final couple of pages.

Overall this is a very good collection indeed.  If you're a fan of Lovecraft imitations, you will probably get more mileage from a few of the Bloch tales than I did.

Number 52 - Fever Dream - Samanta Schweblin

This was my latest cheat read to get the numbers up.  Found it in Waterstones, thought it sounded interesting and it was dead short.

But is it any good?

The title sums it up very nicely indeed - although the original title in Spanish was The Rescue Distance (the spanish equivalent of that obviously). I'm not sure which title is better.  The Spanish title suits the book very well - possibly more appropriate than the English title - but only really makes sense as a title when you've read the book, whereas Fever Dream wwas a title that caught my attention (for various reasons)  The rescue distance is the distance Amamnda keeps between herself and her daughter Nina at all times.

This is a book that deserves to be read in one sitting.  It takes the form of a conversation between Amanda and David.  Amanda is apparently in a hospital bed with David sitting by her side, trying to get her to talk about some unspecified happening, the thing that brought them here to the emergency clinic.

The tension ratchets up and up with no letting go from the beginning.  It's a shame I had to go back to work and concentrate on other things repeattedly in the last couple of days while I was reading this.  I will be setting aside a free few hours at some point for a reread of this, to get the full effect.

The translation is excellent. The atmosphere is about as claustrophobic as I can remember a book this short ever being. The hints and foreshadowing are masterfully done with a nice level of ambiguity  as well. The layers of the story buid and overlap, painting a genuine fever dream. I get the feeling this will terrify most parents of young children.

It's very difficult to put down.  We need to know what the event was, what is it about the worms or the things very much like worms. What is it David wants to know, and does Amanda actually know better than him?

Highly recommended.

Number 51 - Kissing the Bee - Kathe Koja

My second Kathe Koja of the year.

I made a few comments in the blog about the last Koja novel I read to the effect that romance is my least favourite genre. But goddammit I loved Kink even though that is ostensibly the book's main genre if you had to pigeonhole it.

I wish she'd stop doing this to me.  This book is a young adult novel about two best friends at high school, Dana and Avra.  Dana, the narrator, is madly in love with Avra's boyfriend, Emil, but doesn't want to admit it.Truly the  stuff of the most normal of soap operas.  This is not the type of stuff I normally like to read.

However, because of Kathe Koja's writing, I fully symapathised with Dana, wondered why she wanted to hang with Avra in any case (despite undertanding exactly why)  and really wanted to know where the story was going. The will-they-won't-they was actually important to me while I read this book.

It isn't written in the normal stream of consiousness that the last few Koja novels I've read have been.  The prose is much plainer and grammatical, but still just as compelling and emotional. The relationships between the three central characters are etched razor sharp on the page. Dana makes for a genuinely likeable protagonist.

As an extra layer to the story, we have segments from the project Dana is writing about bees for her Bio class. These serve to highlight and mirror the emotional story, as well as providing some interesting informaion about our buzzing little friends.

It's only a short book and a very fast read and well recommended despite being in my least favourite genre.  I can't even say this one comes close to psychological horror the way that Kink did.

A solid 7/10